Ra Ra ....Para Para......oh oh!!!

For all those who went for the Masinagudi trip the title makes more sense...These are songs from movie Chandramukhi and this is the only casette that kept playing in the trip,thanks especially to one of our friends.About 6 of us went to this Tiger Ranch near Mysore...We stayed in log cabins(Thats way too sophisticated...maybe in proper tamil its "kudisai") and tried living for a day minus the hustle and bustle of the city,constant cell phone ringing,channel surfing,movies,music,books whatever.It really did make me think...How can u survive in this place??The owner has been in the jungle for 15 years and frankly we all din't know how that was even a possibility!This place is admist the jungle and there is no electricity and the generator is switched on from 6-11 in the evening. We all were quite enthused to go for trek on the day we landed. Unfortunately rains decided to think otherwise and spoil the fun!we stayed in doors playing and well having fun overall!!Exchanging stories and making up stories and recollecting school incidents were happening full time!! We did take a small trek and saw quite a few animals!!We always had monkeys for companies in our cabins...
The next day we ended up visiting bird sanctury in Mysore and did few more things before we got back to Monday and usual routines!!Overall I think after school excursions this is the first time I m out again on a trip with skool friends!its even more nicer coz after 7 years we ended up going and with majority married it was nice to the whole gang getting together this way...Somethings still dint change and we girls sang the school song religiously..:-))))))For all the Rosarians who are reading this,I m sure u know what that means to us!!

Marriage-Love/Arranged?

Why this archaic topic? Well, for one I don't think people are ever gonna get bored discussing it in near future and at most marriages this is the first question that comes up. For all those who come from the west where gay marriages raise eyebrows, this may seem abnormal! We claim to have moved on, become more forward but the inevitable question almost always pops out first when someone announces their wedding. Sometimes I wonder, why is it all that important? At least in our generation we believe that happiness is what matters in the long term and nothing else. The older gen thinks otherwise. Family matters to them .Good family(most importantly from same caste/background) almost always equates to a good boy/girl. Why I cannot comprehend? I have seen so many anomalies to that equation. If a Hindu marries a Christian or a Muslim the world has turned upside down. I agree that few things may be issues later on, but if the couple have decided yes, then who can stop them? On the other hand since most of us come from close knit families values like these matters so much to us that going against parent's wishes is very difficult.
After getting married "the right way" as society calls it, but according to me the easier path, the road most often traveled, I cannot but admire few good friends of mine who have stood against all odds in getting married to who they want. Maybe if my parents opposed to me marrying the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with I would have done that too. Frankly society is just an alibi which people use when they wanna show their discontent towards something..Its a blatant fact that in our society whatever you do is under speculation. Any marriage hall will have the typical "madisar mami" complaining about almost everything there....be it food, decorations, saree, jewels, guy's height, girls weight whatever.. They just have to talk...So why care about them and their views on your marriage?
And the argument continues.. ..both sides are strong enough that they don't give up their cause...But I can at least say that society is changing a bit and people do realize that its after all your life and you better live it the way you want to.......but then you can live it within the "norms of the society and family"...but then you can't bend rules that much.. but then...See I cant even finish this blog logically.........

Good Ol'School days

Reading the blog of my friend made me wonder about good ol' school days. As I kept reading, the images of school described by her came flashing before my eyes. I had no intentions of writing,but this was something I just could not hold back on...It just seems like yesterday that I said a teary goodbye to the rest.I cannot but remember the numerous cultural practices organized, the outings, the common mass we used to attend, the elections, common lunch, farewell...The list is almost endless..We even called ourselves “begum” and did a whole victory lap around school like the Tamil movie Batcha..If someone tells me they did something like that now,I maybe would brand them as silly and immature..

Clad in white and blue uniforms, with neatly plaited hair and clean white ribbons and shinning white shoes we attended school with utmost pride and sincerity. Bending of rules was unheard of and coming to think of it now, I wonder if we would still be the same! One wrong doing would make us squirm and I think to us the school and its motto were literally our "bible" which we dare not disobey... Reminiscing about the past makes me nostalgic. Even now when I meet the others we have so much to catch up on. Its like we start where we had left off..

We all have matured into fine young women, married, to be married soon, with kids and still there's that small part of us which craves for those innocent days. Eyes sparkle when we talk about escapades during good ol’ school days..Do I seem like an old lady now?7 years seem long to me.. When we bid adieu and promised to stay in touch I thought its going to be tough to face the world minus the secure walls of school teachers and most importantly school friends. It was not so bad after all..When we meet now things have changed and we have all moved on...but the basic values have remained...We still laugh about those times and we never seem to get tired telling others about it...That’s how much an impression the good ol school days have left...I just imagined us going back to school with the 8’o clock assembly and honestly the thought makes me flash my brightest smile….:-)

Midnight musings

Not so long ago, the biggest decision some of us have had to make was whether to go watch Hyderabad Blues this weekend at Ega or wait till they show it at Woodlands :-) Today, one of us has a little girl to bathe, feed, clothe and raise. One of us is living out what must be one of life's toughest jobs - being a mother.

No,I haven't been in a coma, and yes, I vividly remember all these wonderful times I have had in between, but has it really been 7 years since we bid farewell to Rosary Matric? Never staying a full 40 minutes in class, because we have "culturals practice" to attend.. or because The Principal wants to meet with us. Or there was the "final assembly" to prepare for. The Copper Chimneys, Gangotris, Xanadus and Odysseys, all have a story to tell about us. Back benchers some of us were, delinquents we were not. Singers, dancers and debaters, naughty partners in crime. I believe we were way more mature than the 17 year olds that would follow us. Every generation thinks so about themselves, but trust me, we honestly were. Serious thoughts about the pending tomorrow would surface now and then, only to be usurped by bigger, more pressing issues like where to hold the "birds and the bees" talk :-) Hmmm... good old school days! Sometimes I wonder if we could just drop everything and go back to our blue-uniform, 2-plaits-white-ribbon days when life was so uncomplicated and much much simpler!

And then I chide myself - simpler, yes.. but life's also made us richer. We have made the transformation from young girls into young women, a certain Mrs. Angela would've been proud of us. We've taken our own time and travelled different paths, but our stories have one common thread - courage. Our toughest battles we always fought alone, not always sure if we'd be standing at the end of it, but with as much a brave face as we could muster. And the best part of it all, that little girl we once were is not completely lost inside us. She's the one who reminds us every so often to let loose and have fun, the one who drags us out when it's raining outside, the one who keeps us inquistive.

Hmm...I think I'll pick this richer life anyday over the simpler. What say you girls?

That’s how it’s done

I'm new at this so i'm not even sure what i'm supposed to do! Well ...what have i got to lose? Ok this is what it is. I'm a mother of a two year old girl. She drives me nuts! Well....not actually! it's just that this whole deal about bringing up a child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does your daughter talk? Does she eat properly? Can she climb stairs? The questions are endless as you face a siege by older,”more experienced and wiser” women. It’s like your daughter has to be a performer at every step.
Can she sing? Does she know how to count? You better teach her the alphabets or she won’t get admission into any decent school in the city. The questions and expectations seem to increase with every new generation. What was an accomplishment earlier is a necessary milestone for the child nowadays. There is absolutely no way that your child is ever going to be good enough. So you think “alright, I’ll just do as they tell me, and my daughter will know everything she is supposed to know, and do, to be a great kid”. Wrong!
It’s not that simple. Who do you listen to? That aunt who told you your daughter was too skinny and so you should give her some butter…or the friend who told you that you’re lucky your daughter is not obese and that you should avoid all fatty foods even at this age. After all, your aunt did have 5 kids and they all turned out just fine…oh wait! All of them, except the last son who has severe cholesterol and diabetes problems and is way past the obesity mark. Your friend on the other hand has a great girl...but then again...didn’t she tell you herself that her daughter was being treated for bulimia? Forget the weight...let’s listen to the rest. What about tips on talking? That should be simple...wrong again!
Your grandmother tells you that your daughter better learn her mother tongue. How else will she talk to your grandmother’s sister’s husband’s aunt’s mother who talks only your mother tongue? Your grandmother warns you that if she doesn’t learn her mother tongue she’ll forget her roots and customs and become a total misfit in her native place which she might visit once in two years! What a dreadful thought! Then in barges your city bred cousin who tosses her head with laughter as she hears this. Mother tongue! In this day and age! The old lady is living in her times she tells me. Don’t mind her. Just say yes to please her. After all what will your daughter do with her mother tongue where she goes for admission into the pre-school of that excellent convent in the middle of the city where everything but English is taboo. Won’t the nuns be furious if you taught your child to become acceptable in her native place? Acceptability” world-wide”...that’s their agenda. Your daughter will turn out having learned impeccable English and respectable manners. Is it worth spoiling all that just to hear your daughter say goodbye to your maternal great grand aunt in her mother tongue? Well then we better let this issue also go... and go to something where there’s bound to be a consensus! Behaviour! Now nobody can stand kids who have been spoilt rotten and behave badly. So there’s bound to be definite guideline about this, right? Wrong yet again!
Just listen to your neighbour talk to her little girl. You watch as she patiently clears up after the mess her daughter makes. Just as she is finished her teenage son comes in throws his shoes on the floor and seems somehow physically attached at the waist to the computer keyboard from then on. Does she say anything? No! She wouldn’t dare! After all, kids nowadays have to be treated like independent and mature individuals. They decide what to do, when to do it and whether to do it. Parents in the name of what they call “good parenting” read up big fat books on child behaviour which directs them to listen to their children, give in to the child and never ever get angry with their child. The book warns them of the dire consequences lest they actually show their children an angry face. The child will suffer for life because of that resentment, might even begin to hate you and might let that bottled up anger turn into something destructive within him making him unacceptable in society. Your grandfather’s brother can’t control his laughter on hearing this new theory. The old adage of spare the rod and spoil the child is what he believes in. He tells you how so many generations of parenting and bringing up children with strict rules and plenty of disciplining can’t be that wrong after all. Didn’t you all turn out just fine, he argues. That’s true! He waits till the children are out of earshot and then tells me that all this new fangled psychology is good if I’m bringing up children in the United States of America, since children there are a write-off in any case, according to him. He then whispers to me that I’d better watch out or my children will turn out to be just like Anamika’s son who was a rebel, grew long hair, pierced his eyebrow, wore clothes that were 3 sizes too big and eventually eloped with a French woman. After all they have some of Anamika’s son’s blood in them. At that moment you wonder...who is Anamika? He can’t believe I’ve forgotten. Anamika is my mother’s maternal aunt’s grand-daughter’s brother’s wife. What the world is coming to, he declares! Such close relatives and I can’t even remember. Well, now that issue complicates the fundamental theories of parenting! Thank god, my daughter will be able to make up her own mind about her future once she needs to. Maybe she’ll become a biomechanical engineer or whatever the trend is in her days!
My husband’s aunt stops me in mid-sentence. Let her decide? That’s not what you should be doing, she admonishes me. Her father is a doctor. It will be right for her to become one too. That’s what should be done. Send her to the best medicals schools, pay money to get her in if you have to, and then let her take up her father’s practice. But what about her choice, I argue? Start telling her even from this age that she should be a doctor and she will get used to the idea and even start making it he own idea. That’s the way it should be done.
Suddenly my eighteen month old daughter runs in. She wants to know if she can feed the fish in her pond some vegetables. I begin to explain why fish are not likely to eat vegetables. Then I realise, my daughter has a tough way ahead of her but as a mother my choices are equally difficult. Hopefully I’ll make the right ones! Hopefully I’ll let her eat what she likes while making sure she also eats what’s good for her. Hopefully she’ll be able to converse both in English and her mother tongue. Hopefully she’ll never think I was too harsh on her. Hopefully I won’t be so lenient that she becomes a spoilt brat. Hopefully she’ll make her own career decisions taking into account my career advice. Hopefully I’ll let her grow, let her learn, let her be herself!